Shall we give it up for the Stooges? After enduring weeks of good-natured (?) bashing for their draft acumen (see below), the fellas sunk the Dollz — the erstwhile pride of the fleet — on only its second 2025 voyage. There was much rejoicing in Stoogeville, and Thurm tipped his Admiral’s cap. But what does a Week 2 win, or loss, actually mean? It may all depend on how you fared the week before. Are you now 2-0, 1-1 or 0-2?
Since 1990, about 63% of all 2-0 teams have made the playoffs in the NFL. (And since playoff expansion in 2020, about 79% of 2-0 teams have made it.) A 1-1 start drops a team’s chances to between 40% and 50%. And an 0-2 start? Bad, bad, bad. In the NFL, you have about a 10% chance of making the playoffs. Just 43 of 422 teams made the playoffs after an 0-2 start, according to the league.
But that’s the NFL. What about the James Gang? Here’s our track record in the past 10 seasons, since 2015, for the teams on the extremes (2-0 and 0-2) as well as the even-keeled 1-1 squads.
- 35 teams have started 2-0. Twenty-seven of those teams made the playoffs (77%); of those 27 playoff teams, 16 made the semifinals; of those 16, three were champs: Straight Outta Campton in 2017; Hurt Locker in 2020, and Heavy Flight in 2023.
- 54 teams have started 1-1. Forty-four of those teams made the playoffs (81%); of those 44, 17 made the semifinals; of those 17, five were champs: Juice in 2022; Pain Train in 2021; Dollz in 2019; OverThinkers in 2018, and Buckguys in 2016.
- 37 teams have started 0-2. Just 11 of those teams made the playoffs (30%). But get this: more than half of those teams (6) made the semis… and two were champs! Actually, ONE was champ TWICE: Pain Train in 2015 and in 2024. Pain was also runnerup in 2017 and 2022 and, inexplicably, sixth in 2016. Other 0-2 overachievers over the years: S*Heads, Juice, Heavy Flight, Hurt Locker, Straight Outta Campton and It’s All About The U, who all made the playoffs after an 0-2 start.
This year, we have three 2-0 teams, eight 1-1 teams, and three 0-2 teams. The undefeated are Alabama Men, Heavy Flight, and S*Heads, all of whom reside in the Apollo Division. On the other side of the ledger, and in the other, Mayor Jeni Division, are the 0-2 Fartz, OverThinkers, and Straight Outta The Commode.
Is it worth mentioning that the top four scoring teams so far are all in the Apollo? (Men, Flight, S*Heads and Dollz) And that the Apollos as a whole have outscored the Mayor Jeni’s by about 215 points, or an average of 15 per game? And that the Apollos are 10-4 against the Mayor Jeni’s? No, it probably doesn’t merit a mention.
Here’s what might, however. The Stooges may well be a harbinger for a team’s playoff chances. True, the fellas have played just 16 regular season games so far in the James Gang, but bear with me. In 2024, Stooges were 7-7. Against eventual playoff teams, they were 2-6. Against eventual non-playoff teams, they were 5-1. In other words, if you beat the Stooges, you were almost certainly a playoff team. If you lost to the Stooges, you almost certainly were not.
This year so far, Stooges lost to Flight and beat Dollz.
tfw The Draft Grades Come In*
* Oh, I’m sure they’ll be Fine
Survey Says… We’re all Chasing the Dollz this year
The action kicks off this week and everyone’s ready to go… although some may be more ready than others. Looking at you, Dollz. Fantasy Football experts agree (kind of): Thurm’s drafted roster is the best of our bunch, followed by Buckguys, OverThinkers, Juice and Hurt Locker. But fear not, bottom-dwellers Straight Outta The Commode, Alabama Men and Three Stooges: the draftniks found something to like about everyone’s team.
Draft grades and observations are culled from ESPN, Fantasy Pros and Football Guys. The overall rank is an average of each team’s three grades; ties were broken by the highest rating each team earned. With that in mind, here’s how it all breaks down:
Draft Grades 2025
| Rank | Team | In summary… | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| ESPN | |||||
| 1 | Dollz | A depth chart darling draft. The RBs are the crown jewel, boasting an A+ grade with Bijan Robinson, Bucky Irving, and Kyren Williams delivering top-tier production. — Football Guys (FG) You reached for Thielen, Lions D/ST and Matt Gay, and you should’ve taken Tet McMillan in Round 4 instead of Pat Mahomes (!) — Fantasy Pros (FP) |
|||
| 2 | Buckguys | A bargain hunter draft reaps a big reward: Josh Allen is a juggernaut and your WRs (Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins) are nothing short of spectacular — FG You drafted two Top 3 players (Allen and Chase). Weeks 9 and 10 are bye nightmares but Keenan Allen is a sleeper steal — FP |
|||
| 3 | OverThinkers | A safe and sound draft. RBs and TEs are a strength, WRs not so much — FG Two Top 3 players at their position (Gibbs and Kittle) is nice, but you should’ve drafted Justin Jefferson instead of Gibbs in Round 1. — FP |
|||
| 4 | Juice | A rookie revolution draft. A couple elite starters (CeeDee, McBride) but your overall depth is a big concern — FG You drafted three Top 3 players (CeeDee, McBride and Dicker) and we like your Chargers stack (Herbert and Hampton) — FP |
|||
| 5 | Hurt Locker | A boom or bust draft. The TEs are a true powerhouse, boasting an A+ grade for both starters and bench. WRs also bring a lot to the table with a solid starting grade and an outstanding bench grade — FG Dak is our top QB sleeper and Luther Burden III is a steal in the 14th round — FP |
|||
| 6 | The U | A ‘reach for the stars’ draft. The QBs are the highlight and the WRs are a powerhouse. Your strong RB bench gives U some strong trade chips — FG U have two Top 3 players (Jayden Daniels and Eagles D/ST) and a couple steals in Jared Goff (Rd 10) and Najee Harris (Rd 12), but U reached for the Eagles in Rd 9 and Cam Little in Rd 13 — FP |
|||
| 7 | Hounds | An ADP autopilot draft. Ashton Jeanty and Josh Jacobs are an A+ RB room and the WR room is deep. TEs are a problem — FG Trevor Lawrence (Rd 11), Brandon Aiyuk (Rd 13) and Romeo Doubs (Rd 15) are steals, but your two Top 3 players (Steelers D/ST in Rd 9 and Brandon Aubrey in Rd 10) are reaches — FP |
|||
| 8 | S*Heads | A veteran village draft. An A grade nearly across the board (QBs, RBs, TEs, D/ST) but the WRs could be the S*Heads’ Achilles heel — FG You have two Top 3 players (Saquon and Denver D/ST) but you reached for the Broncos (quel surprise!), Joe Mixon and Jake Elliott. Also, you should’ve taken JaMarr Chase instead of Saquon at 1.01 — FP |
|||
| 9 | Pain Train | (Speaking of no surprise:) A rookie revolution draft. WRs are a true A+ highlight, and with Joe Burrow gives Pain a formidable passing game — FG You have one Top 3 player (Justin Jefferson), your Bengals stack (Burrow and Chase Brown) is a thing, and Tyler Warren is our top TE sleeper. Week 10 is a bye nightmare, though — FP |
|||
| 10 | Heavy Flight | A boom or bust draft. The RBs (Achane and Kamara) are the crown jewel of your draft, giving you dependable weekly scoring. Depth is equally impressive. Your WRs, though? Yikes — FG You drafted one Top 3 player (Lamar), and Braelon Allen and DeMario Douglas are both Top 5 sleepers. But if you’d drafted Justin Jefferson rather than De’Von Achane at 1.07, you’d have had the best draft in the league — FP |
|||
| 11 | Fartz | A veteran village draft. The WRs (Puka, AJ Brown, McLaurin, Godwin) create a strong weekly advantage, but those RBs are a sore spot — FG We wish you’d drafted Jaylen Waddle in Rd 5 rather than David Njoku, and Week 8 is a bye nightmare. But you got two #1 sleepers — RB JK Dobbins and WR Jayden Higgins — and Tre’ Harris is a steal in Rd 15 — FP |
|||
| 12 | Commodes | An ADP autopilot draft (actually true) got you an A+ WR room (Nico Collins, Brian Thomas and Garrett Wilson). RB production might be a rollercoaster — FG Jacory Croskey-Merritt is RB2 in sleeper rankings, and JJ McCarthy (Rd 12) and Kyle Williams (Rd 15) are steals — FP |
|||
| 13 | Bama Men | A bargain hunter draft. You absolutely crushed it at WR (Amon-Ra, Jaylen Waddle, Marvin Harrison, Rome Odunze, Marvin Mims) with both starters and bench boasting A+ grades. QBs, RBs and TEs are average at best — FG Mims and Cedric Tillman are top 4 WR sleepers, but you reached for Texans D/ST and Tyler Bass. We would’ve liked to see you draft Bowers in Rd 2 rather than Derrick Henry — FP |
|||
| 14 | Stooges | A steal sniper draft. Your WRs are the clear heroes here, with Drake London and Davante Adams delivering elite production and consistency. The RBs and TEs aren’t flashy but should be stable contributors — FG Jake Bates is your Top 3 player but you reached for him in Rd 12. We wish you’d have picked Amon-Ra in Rd 1 rather than Jonathan Taylor — FP |
|||