2023 Bonus Standings
And The Winners Are…
Not a bad weekend for Campton, all things considered. Yes, Andy did cede the final playoff spot to Buckguys by way of the points tiebreaker, but he pockets $60 with his 170.64 points scored (the week’s high) and winning margin of +88.26 over Katy’s Brother (the season’s high).
Heavy Flight swooped in to re-re-re-re-claim the QB Bonus from Hurt Locker, by less than two points. The two have gone back and forth all season, and in only four weeks did more than six points separate their starters’ performances. (Five times, it was less than two points.)
Pain Train hung on to the RB Bonus lead he first grabbed in Week 10, holding off Campton’s late run. (Andy’s RBs actually outscored Max’s backfield in weeks 11 through 14, but it wasn’t enough to overcome Pain’s lead.) In the WR Bonus, Hounds went Deebo Mode to finalize his win over OverThinkers.
Thinkers kept the Beatdown Bonus and Heavy Flight’s Best Start Bonus has been banked for awhile. Flight also cemented his Best Record Bonus at 12-2, just a game ahead of It’s All About The U at 11-3.
Oh, the Humanity
Well, here’s a revolting development: the Hounds’ trio of Garret Wilson, Mike Evans and Deebo Samuel — especially Deebo Samuel — combined to score 81.40 points this past weekend, vaulting Haydn into the WR Bonus lead. Will it hold up? Runner-up OverThinkers’ WRs are projected to match the Hounds’ output in Week 14, but that’s not good enough. You hear me, men? Not. Good. Enough.
Also not pleased with this week’s Bonus results are Heavy Flight, who surrendered the QB Bonus lead to Hurt Locker; and Dollz, who saw Pain Train chug past him into the RB Bonus lead. Some solace for Jim (for whom no sympathy is actually required): Flight claimed another Best Weekly Score Bonus, its fifth of the season.
Now Who’s QB1?
It’s a helluva thing when your QB puts up 34.5 points and you lose ground in the Bonus standings, but that’s what happened this week to Hurt Locker. Up about three points over Heavy Flight going into the weekend, Greg now finds himself about two points back after Jim’s Josh Allen lit it up in the Bills’ losing OT effort.
Pain Train crept closer to Dollz in the RB Bonus, and Hounds shaved about 20 points off Thinkers’ lead in the WR Bonus.
Flight claimed another Weekly Top Score Bonus, their fourth of the year. Now wonder the guy’s Best Record Bonus mark is now 10-2. Although The U lurks at 9-3, with two games to go.
The Usual Suspects
Week 10’s Bonus leaders are back, baby! This week, Hurt Locker still leads the QB Bonus, albeit by a tighter margin over Heavy Flight; in the RB Bonus, Dollz tacked on another couple points in its lead over Pain Train; and OverThinker padded its lead over Hounds in the WR Bonus.
Here’s something new: Alabama Men finally claimed a Weekly Top Score Bonus, after coming oh-so-close in Week 8.
Hurts So Good (assist by Geno Smith)
A week after claiming its first Weekly Score Bonus of the season, Hurt Locker makes his mark in Week 10 in a second Bonus category. All year, Jalen Hurts has kept Greg close to QB Bonus leader Heavy Flight and his Josh Allen. He finally surged past him in Week 10, but it wasn’t the byed Hurts who did it; rather, it was Geno Smith. The $50 isn’t Greg’s yet, of course, as there’s still four games to go before a winner is crowned.
The RB and WR Bonus leaders remain unchanged, although Pain Train now sits second in the RB Bonus, up from fourth last week (and seventh in Week 7). Since Week 6, Pain Train running backs have actually outgained the top-ranked Dollz backfield, 213.9 to 205.7.
And speaking of Dollz, Thurm pockets another $10 for his 148.14 points scored in Week 10. For its 147.62, OverThinkers get nothing.
Through Week 9
Hurt Locker, Come on Down!
We put money into a different ‘Ganger’s pocket in Week 9, as Hurt Locker posts the highest score of the week. To win the cash — and win the game — he had to, too, since his opponent actually put up the second-highest score of the week. S*Heads scored 121.4 in Week 9 after scoring 126.3 in Week 8; unfortunately for Kurt, both were losses.
Through Week 8
Cue the Minor Seconds and Pitch Bends*
It was a dark and stormy night… and yet things are much the same today as they were in Week Seven.
- Flight, Dollz and Thinkers all maintained their leads in the QB Bonus, RB Bonus and WR Bonus, respectively. Of course, Dollz did put about 40 points’ worth of buffer between them and runner-up The U, after the Dollz’ Travis Etienne Jr went for 27.9 and Gus Edwards 29.4.
- The U and Flight remain locked in a tie for Best Record at 7-1 (and in first place in their respective divisions).
- And Flight took down another Weekly Top Score Bonus. That’s three now, of eight, for Jim this season. This week’s points-a-palooza came courtesy of CeeDee Lamb (41), Josh Allen (29.06) and TJ Hockenson (20.8).
Eerily enough, in the days after Etienne and Hockenson’s big days — and right around Halloween, actually — Thurm and Jim hatched a plot to trade their star performers. Dollz traded Etienne and Darren Waller to Flight, and in return received Hockenson and D’Andre Swift.
Is this Evil Genius stuff? Are these guys playing chess while we’re all playing checkers? Or was the move made in the midst of a Halloween candy hangover?
*YouTube tells me these are some of The Six Spooky Secrets Composers Use to Scare You
Through Week 7
I told U to watch out for this team. Two wins in three weeks with the second-most points scored over that span, and now Dollz has grabbed the RB Bonus lead from The U as well. The hat trick comes courtesy of Thurm’s Travis Etienne and James Cook’s 179 combined scrimmage yards and three TDs while Jose’s RunCMC was racking up 96 scrimmage yards and two scores. Not bad, but not enough to stave off the Dollz.
Meanwhile, Heavy Flight and Hurt in the QB Bonus, and Thinkers and Hounds in the WR Bonus, keep their places are at, and near, the top. Pain Train pockets the Weekly Top Score Bonus with the league’s seventh 150+ performance this season, and Flight and The U move to 6-1 in the quest for the Best Record Bonus.
Through Week 6
The races are tightening up. In the QB Bonus, Hurt has cut Flight’s lead to about a 40-yard Jalen Hurts completion; Campton and Dollz have each trimmed about a third off The U’s lead in the RB Bonus, and — what the what?!? — Hounds no longer are atop the WR Bonus. Shirley you can’t be serious.
In other Bonuses, Flight’s Best Start Bonus is now locked in at 5-0 and Jim suddenly has company in the Best Record Bonus, as Fartz and The U now match Flight’s 5-1 mark. Buckguys led all scorers in Week 6 to join the Weekly Top Score Bonus ranks. And the Beatdown and Blowout bonuses remain unchanged,
Through Week 5
Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose. The Frickin French Guy, as Blondie once dubbed him, again has clinched the Best Start Bonus. In a clash of unbeaten division leaders this past weekend, Heavy Flight prevailed over Fartz to claim the Best Start Bonus with a very respectable 5-0 mark. Flight also won the Bonus last year with a 5-0 start. It’s deja vu all over again, as the French philosopher Yogi Berra once said.
Monsieur Pellissier, bless his heart, has also wrested away the QB Bonus lead from the far more deserving OverThinkers, as Jim’s Josh Allen is on an absolute tear. Watch out for Juice, however, leaping up the chart with a free-flowing, free-thinking, not-at-all-robotic Justin Fields.
The U, led by Christian McCaffrey, has pulled away from Juice and others in the RB Bonus, and the Hounds have extended their own lead in the WR Bonus thanks to Stefon Diggs and his supporting cast.
Through Week 3
Give it up for Haydn’s Hounds, who continue their masterful run of WR Bonus success. In 2021, he claimed the prize with Keenan Allen, Mike Williams and Davante. Last year, he fielded Tyreek, Terry McLaurin and Ja’Marr Chase. Now, he’s throwing Stefon Diggs, Deebo and Mike Evans at us, and again is setting the (early) pace.
And look who else is here again: Heavy Flight, the poster boy for fast starts. He clinched the Best Start Bonus last year with a 5-0 mark; this year, he shares a 3-0 mark with Fartz and Hounds. Their unblemished record also puts them in the running for the Best Record Bonus — a bonus won last year by Flight at 10-4, of course.
In other developments:
- Just over half a point separates The U and Juice in the RB Bonus, as Jose’s combo of Run CMC and Alexander Mattison lead Dean’s backfield of Tony Pollard and Bijan Robinson.
- Justin Herbert is good again and OverThinkers are atop the QB Bonus list