As it was in the Semis, so it was in the Final. The last NFL game of our Finals weekend — a Monday Night Football tilt between the Steelers and Browns — decided the league championship. And it did so with a certain familiarity about it as well.

In the Semis, Pain Train led Juice by 28 going into the MNF game. Max’s guys were done at 107 but Dean at 79 still had the Dolphins D. That Miami squad did just about all it could, but it wasn’t enough and Max advanced 107-97. (And is now 5-0 vs Pops in the playoffs.)

In the Final, Pain led S*Heads by 27 going into MNF. Max again was locked in, at 92. He’d gotten 32 points from the combo of Jalen Hurts and David Montgomery (a late-season trade pickup) and then a season-high 30 from DK Metcalf. But S*Heads had two guys going, Big Ben and Nick Chubb. And how appropriate that a RB was part of Kurt’s rally effort. S*Heads lapped the field in RB points this year…while finishing dead last in QB points. Which probably meant that Chubb would get 6 points that game and Ben would throw 6 TDs.

Neither ’twas to be, however. Chubb was held to 5 fantasy points and Ben racked up just 7. It was a season-low for Ben, coming off 8 points the week before. And it was the second time this year Chubb had bottomed out at 5. Obviously Max had put a great defensive plan in place — for both teams, no less — holding S*Heads to under 80 points for the sixth time this year. Apparently defense does win championships.

In other playoff games:

• Juice won the third-place game over Campton, 93-86
• Hounds won the fifth-place game over Buckguys, 130-111
• Dollz won the seventh-place game over Katy’s Brother, 155-150.

And in the Consolation Ladder, The U claimed the pot with a 331-328 comeback win over Heavy Flight.

Pain Train vs S*Heads — the Final we all expected, right?

It was a wise man who told us, “All you need is a chip and a chair,” and you’ve got a chance. Or maybe it was just Max, last year, when he made a playoff run from the #6 Seed to the Finals. This year — just to make it more of a challenge? — he squeaked in as a #8 Seed and here he is, two weeks later, in the Finals again.

Again, as in back-to-back, Jack.

Max is the sixth current ‘Ganger to appear in consecutive title games. Here’s the list, from most recent:

• Pain Train: Finalist, 2020 & 2021. Runner-up in 2020, TBD in 2021
• Hurt Locker: Finalist, 2019 & 2020. Runner-up in 2019, Champ in 2020
• Campton: Finalist, 2010 & 2011. Runner-up both years
• Dollz: Finalist 2007 & 2008 & 2009. Runner-up in 2007 & 2008, Champion in 2009
• Juice: Finalist, 2006 & 2007. Champion both years
• The U: Finalist 2005 & 2006. Champion in 2005, Runner-up in 2006

And what of his co-Finalist, the S*Heads? If not for two sacks recorded in the final minute of Week 14, Kurt doesn’t make the playoffs at all. Then, a lack of sacks — or, more accurately, a sudden cessation of sacks — stopped Campton’s comeback in the semifinals against Kurt.

At kickoff of the SNF game between the Cowboys and WFT, the S*Heads led Campton 95-69. Kurt’s guys were done, Andy just had the Dallas D. It looked pretty bleak for Campton.

A pick-six and a blocked punt recovered in the end zone later — to say nothing of another INT and five sacks — and Campton trailed by just 3. There were still NINE minutes left in the game, and WFT had gone to its backup QB. The Dallas D’s 23 points were already the most DST points scored in a game in our league this year; were another four possible?

Reader, they were not.

And so we have the 2021 James Gang Final between #7 Seed S*Heads and #8 Seed Pain Train.

• ESPN projects a 105-99 Pain victory. FootballGuys call it a pick’em at 111 apiece.
• S*Heads won their only regular-season matchup, 100-97
• S*Heads have won four of the past five and six of the past eight. Pain Train had lost four straight entering the playoffs, including that loss to Kurt.
• S*Heads scored 1358 points in the regular season (fourth-fewest), a 104.5 average. Pain scored 1354 points in the regular season (second-fewest), a 104.2 average.
• Pain recorded seven 100+ regular season games, all in the first seven weeks. His 107 in the Semifinal this past week was his first 100+ since before Halloween. S*Heads recorded six 100+ regular season games.
• S*Heads won the Most RB Points Bonus with 629 points, led by current RB1 Jonathan Taylor and RB11 Nick Chubb.
• S*Heads won the Blowout Bonus by beating Bama Men by 63. (He also beat OverThinkers by 60.)
• S*Heads claimed the Weekly Top Score Bonus with 122 in Week 9. He also had a 134 game, a 133 game, and a 121 game. Pain’s high score was 119 in Week 4, and he had two more 110+ games.

Kurt would seem to be the favorite in this one (what do you know, ESPN?). But who’s going to bet against Max at this point? On to the game!

And… here… we… go!

“It Hurts,” smackboarded the Dollz at the end of Thurm’s round-one loss to Pain Train. And for once it wasn’t a play on Greg’s team name. This one was for Eagles QB Jalen Hurts, who on his last five completions of the night threw for 86 yards and a score. Those 7 points, in the final four minutes of the game, were the margin of victory.

No such dramatics in the 2 vs 7 matchup and 3 vs 6 matchup. S*Heads beat Katy’s Bro by 32 behind real MVP Jonathan Taylor (screw you, Aaron Rodgers) and his 25 points, and Campton more-than-doubled-up Hounds with a 164-67 pointsfest. The 106 points Andy got from Mahomes, Kelce and Hill on Thursday night alone were more than the rest of us — all 13 teams — scored for the week. Is that a lot? It seems like a lot.

On to the Semifinals we go. We’ve got the father-son matchup on one side of the bracket with Max vs Juice, and on the other, Kurt vs Andy — two guys who’ve known each other almost as long. The foursome is no stranger to the Semifinals, either: It’s the 9th Semi for both Dean and Andy, the 6th for Max, and the 4th for Kurt since 2004.

In the Consolation Bracket, Dollz take on Buckguys this weekend and Katy’s Brother plays Hounds. Not sure why ESPN had the matchups messed up, but they’ve been fixed.

Finally, the Consolation Ladder standings after round one are:

1. Heavy Flight 102
2. OverThinkers 92
3. The U 88
4. Fartz 87
5. Bama Men 75
6. Hurt Locker 68

Into the Playoffs We Go

Seven teams came into Week 14 with a shot at the five open playoff spots, vying to join Dollz, Katy’s Brother and Haydn’s Hounds, who had already clinched a spot. The likely favorites were probably Juice, Buckguys, Campton and Pain Train, who each had a 7-6 winning record and, save for Pain, enough points scored to break most ties in the event of a loss. The real Battle Royale for that last Wild Card spot was between Hurt Locker, S*Heads and OverThinker, who each (a) had 6-7 losing records and (b) needed a win to have a realistic chance. S*Heads and Thinkers also needed to score a bunch of points, should a tiebreaker be needed.

Here’s how it all went down:

• Dollz (11-3) locked up the Best Record Bonus and the #1 Seed with a 132-94 win over Hounds. (Thurm is also the Mayor Jeni Division Champ, having clinched that title in Week 13.)
• Katy’s Brother (10-4) is the Apollo Division Champ and #2 Seed after he beat Campton 118-89 and Hounds lost to Dollz.
• Haydn’s Hounds (9-5) is the Apollo Division Runner-Up and #3 Seed after he lost to Dollz 132-94 and Katy won.
• Atlanta Juice (8-6) is the Mayor Jeni Division Runner-up and #4 Seed after he beat Pain Train 133-86 and both Buckguys (7-7) and Campton (7-7) lost.
• Wild Card qualifiers IN:
  • Buckguys (7-7) is the Wild Card 1 and #5 Seed after he lost to Bama Men 134-133 (!) and finished with 1476 points scored
  • Campton (7-7) is the Wild Card 2 and #6 Seed after he lost to Katy’s Bro 118-89 and finished with 1422 points scored.
  • S*Heads (7-7) is the Wild Card 3 and #7 Seed after he beat Fartz 104-85 and finished with 1358 points scored.
  • Pain Train (7-7) is the Wild Card 4 and #8 Seed after he lost to Juice 133-86 and finished with 1354 points scored.
• Wild Card qualifiers OUT:
  • Hurt Locker (6-8) is out after he lost to The U 109-107 on two Rams sacks in the final 1:00. Had Jose’s defense not sacked Kyler Murray those two times, Hurt and The U would’ve tied at 107 and Hurt’s RB production would’ve broken the tie in his favor. Of course, without the sacks, maybe the Cards score and push it to overtime where Murray gets sacked again. Or Murray escapes the sack and throws a pick. It should be noted, too, that Hurt got a big fat zero out of Lamar Jackson on Sunday. So it’s not all my guy, Kyler Murray’s, fault for taking the sacks.
  • And speaking of my guy: OverThinker (6-8) is out after losing to Heavy Flight 129-85

Here are the projected playoffs as of Week 13:

This is it, ‘Gangers. Three teams have clinched a spot in the 2021 Playoffs: From the Mayor Division, the newly crowned Champ Blowup Dollz; and from the Apollo Division, Haydn’s Hounds and Katy’s Brother (division champ and runner-up will be determined this weekend). Seven teams are alive for the five remaining spots: Juice, Buckguys, Campton, Pain Train, Hurt Locker, S*Heads and OverThinkers. (Bama Men and Fartz aren’t officially eliminated, but are too far back in the points scored tiebreaker to have much hope.)

We seed the playoffs this way:
Division winners are seeded #1 and #2 as determined by (a) overall record then (b) points scored then (c) head to head result/s
Division runners-up are seeded #3 and #4 as determined by (a) overall record then (b) points scored then (c) head to head result/s
Wild card teams are seeded #5 through #8 as determined by (a) overall record then (b) points scored then (c) head to head result/s.

And here are the Wild Card standings as of Week 13, determined by overall record and points scored:

Here are the projected playoffs as of Week 12:

And here are the current Wild Card Standings, based on overall record and points scored:

Tracking the Changes

RE-SEEDED 9-3 Katy’s Brother claims the #1 Seed from 9-3 Dollz this week based on points scored. Chris’s guys have put up 1296 to date, Thurm’s 1256.

INCHING CLOSER Hurt Locker continues to tear up the standings and is now just a game out of the Playoffs. And look who Greg gets next: the most vulnerable team just ahead of him. (That would be OverThinkers. Duh.)

Projected Playoffs as of Week 11

And here are the current Wild Card Standings, based on overall record and points scored:

Tracking the Changes

• IN Buckguys are back in as the #7 Seed. His Week 11 win gives him a 5-6 record, same as Juice, OverThinker, S*Heads and Bama Men. BUT! Only three of those 5-6 teams make the playoffs, and Doug’s 1137 points scored are second-most.
• RE-SEEDED 7-4 Pain Train slips from the #3 Seed to the #5 and Haydn’s Hounds moves into the #3 Seed from the #5. Hounds’ victory over Pain in Week 11 elevates Haydn to division runner-up and drops Max into the Wild Card pool.
• RE-SEEDED 5-6 JUICE moves up from the #8 Seed to the #6 Seed by virtue of the most points scored among the five 5-6 teams. (Three 5-6 teams make the current playoffs.).
• RE-SEEDED 5-6 OverThinker slips from the #6 Seed to the #8 Seed by virtue of the third-most points scored among the five 5-6 teams. (Three 5-6 teams make the current playoffs.)
• OUT 5-6 Bama Men drop out of the playoffs. Tom is tied with five Wild Card teams at 5-6, but currently has the fifth-most points scored. (Three 5-6 teams make the current playoffs.)

Projected as of Week 10

And here are the current Wild Card standings, based on overall record and points scored:

Tracking the Changes

• IN Campton is back in as the #4 Seed, as Andy’s Week 10 win gives him a 5-5 record, good for second place in the Mayor Division.
• RE-SEEDED 4-6 JUICE loses the #4 Seed (to Campton) but stays in the bracket at #8 thanks to winning the Wild Card points tiebreaker with Buckguys. Juice and Buck are both 4-6 but Dean leads Doug by 29. (S*Heads and Fartz are also 4-6 but trail Dean by 110 and 119, respectively.)
• OUT Buckguys drop out of the playoffs, having lost the #8 spot on the points scored tiebreaker to Juice.

Projected as of Week 9

And here are the current Wild Card standings, based on overall record and points scored.

Tracking the Changes

• IN The 4-5 Juice is back as the #4 Seed. Last week, Dean sat fifth in the Wild Card standings and out of the playoffs. Now, having broken the tie with 4-5 Buckguys for second place in the division (via points scored), he’s the Mayor Division runner-up, and Buck is thrown into the Wild Card pool.
• OUT 4-5 Campton is now out, having lost the points scored tiebreaker to 4-5 Buckguys by a single point in the Wild Card pool. The 4-5 S*Heads also lose on points scored to Buck.
• SWITCHEROO’D The 6-3 Hounds and 6-3 Pain Train are both still in the playoffs, but they’ve swapped spots. Pain is now the Apollo Division runner-up and #3 Seed, Hounds are the top Wild Card team (and #5 Seed).

Week 8

Week 7